Show Notes
Today's episode we talk about how the Father Wound impacts women and their romantic relationships as adults.
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Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:00 Hello and welcome. This is Nancy Cooper with the Tonight Show. Today's episode is going to be about the father wound. So I get this question a lot. There's all these different types of woundings, right? <laugh>, we have the witches wound, we have the sisterhood wound, we have the mother wound, we have the father wound, we have sedna wounding, we have, um, the Chiron wounding. You know, there's all these different wounds that we have, that we get and that we come here to heal. Today we're gonna talk mostly about the father wound and how that really starts to show up in our experience. Um, there's several different ways that we start to notice the father wound. Now, you know, let's not get too frereian with everything. Um, but of course, we have to understand that we are going to play out dynamics with men, um, in our lives, um, that we either did play out with our father, or that we needed to play out with our father.
Speaker 0 00:01:10 What I mean by this is if we had a father who was around, um, meaning that we had a father, but maybe they worked all the time and we had to feel that we had to almost like compete for attention, then when we go into relationships with men later in our adult lives, we're going to find that we attract men, that we are constantly needing to fight for their attention. This is playing out, um, in that paradigm. The thing is, we attract what we know because we don't know what we don't know, right? So that's saying, it's like a weird saying. You don't know what you don't know. Like, how could you possibly know what you don't know, right? So we can't attract what we don't know. We're only going to attract what we do know. And the only way to begin to attract what we don't know is to learn, learn how to, um, connect differently with the masculine and learn how the masculine can connect differently with us. And that, that means that we have to take those actionable steps to do that. Now, going back to this scenario, you know, we had this present non-res father, so now we attract present non-res partners or say, we did not have a father. Um, they, they were absent from our life. So in that case, we're going to find that our relationships tend to have a lot of tumultuous energy to them, a lot of drama,
Speaker 1 00:02:58 Because there's this deep seated insecurity that the partner will leave. And we tend to self sabotage, and we tend to create that, right? So, we'll, we'll think to ourselves, you know, relationships don't work out for me. All the men leave. And it's typically because we're playing out this dynamic of this program belief that men don't stick around. Maybe we had a father who cheated on our mother. And so we find that as adults, we tend to attract or become a vibrational match to men who are not faithful, because again, the subconscious mind is going to play out scenarios that are in alignment with our subconscious beliefs. This is where there's so much work to be done when it comes to our connection, our association and our relationship with the masculine, masculine energy is also associated with money. So if we see this, we'll see this play out.
Speaker 1 00:04:04 It's so fascinating to, to watch it in our, in our experience, because we'll see if we had an absent father, we tend to struggle keeping money, right? If we had, uh, a father who was very irresponsible with money, then we tend to either hold onto money too tightly, or we're also respons irresponsible with our money. We have these situations where if we cannot find satisfaction through a masculine, in a human physical form, then we tend to use money as a way of, you know, retail therapy. We spend it and we don't even know, because we're looking for something that we're not getting from the masculine energy. We're seeking this satisfaction, and we get it right? We get this mild rush when we, when we spend the money and we get this mild rush of, oh, this feels good. I'm, I feel supported right now. I feel good in this moment.
Speaker 1 00:05:06 And then that rush falls away and we feel empty and hollow again, because it, it was a bandaid. It was a bandaid to the cause. So this unfortunately causes a lot of debt. It causes a lot of financial stress and strain. It makes us really not good with managing our money and being with our money and having money. Uh, this has been a question that I've had a lot where I get, is it receiving money? Like, what is, what is it about money? And the thing is, with receiving, that's a feminine. If we're struggling to receive money, then that's feminine wounding. We're not open to receiving. We're not in surrender. We're not allowing it to come in. But once we have money, if we're quick to get rid of it, if we are irresponsible with it, um, all of that kind of energy that's wounded masculine energy that has come from a father wound, okay?
Speaker 1 00:06:10 So this, this is important for us to understand and distinguish the difference. I see so many amazing women that, um, author these powerful incredibly, um, transformative workshops and, and different things where they're helping women to heal their feminine essence and energy. But we are neglecting our own masculine because we have both, right? We have a duality within us. And so when we have a father figure or an absent father figure, that is going to mold our own inner masculine energy. So if our father never stood up for us or protected us, then we're gonna find it very difficult for us to stand up for ourself and protect ourselves and, you know, claim our sacredness, right? And say, no, I'm sacred. Like, I'm not gonna let you treat me that way. I'm not gonna let you do this because I'm gonna stand in my own masculine power as a strong divine masculine within myself and honor my sacred boundaries as a feminine.
Speaker 1 00:07:19 So this is, uh, very, very important as we see how this kind of plays out and the dynamics associated with it. It's a very, very interesting, um, concept for us, because we see ourselves as just women, right? So we wanna do all this stuff to heal the feminine, which absolutely, please do that, do that sacred work, go in and heal that. But if we're not healing our own wounded masculine and this father wound, then we're still going to find that we are perpetuating cycles. I was sharing in a post yesterday about we have to recognize our own wounded masculine energy coming up and how it's expressed in our experiences as feminines. So, so often we have this sna wounding, which is the wounding. It's in our natal chart, and Google sedna wounding, you're gonna learn a lot. You're welcome. Um, I'm not gonna go deeply into that today, but in essence, the said, no wounding represents the wound of the father's betrayal.
Speaker 1 00:08:31 The father not protecting the father, not being the strong masculine the father, not, you know, holding and maintaining that sacred space for a feminine. And so what ends up happening is women, when we go into this space, especially when we're having a relationship with a man, men are very different from women, right? So a man, typically when they are stressed or feel like they've failed or done something wrong or feel shame, they tend to retreat. Um, a lot of people, you know, they refer to this as ghosting, um, pulling a Houdini, you know, they, they fall back. They fall back, and they, they go into hiding because they are needing to do their own work in their own way. And so for women, we tend to get highly, highly triggered by this because our said no wounding, and that abandonment wound comes up and it gets activated, and we wanna know what's happening.
Speaker 1 00:09:28 Are they coming back? You know, what's going on? We don't feel protected, provided, supported safe with them doing this. And unfortunately, a lot of times when the feminine gets into this fear wounding and the masculine is in his space, we tend to overcompensate by going into our own wounded masculine energy because we think, okay, well if he's not gonna be man enough, quote unquote, then I need to be, I have to step up and be the man here. But unfortunately, most of us have a wounded masculine man within us and not a divine masculine man within us. So we go into this wounded masculine energy, and this is how we respond to the masculine in our life. We typically chase after them. We are, um, we're not respectful of their process, so we're demanding of them. We condemn their process. We go into this, um, like we emotionally shut ourself off.
Speaker 1 00:10:33 We get more cold, more we pull back, this is wounded masculine energy. This is not the feminine energy wounded masculine energy is what does this, the manipulation to try to make them talk to us or get back with us, or, um, condemning their, their process and not, you know, allowing them to have it or telling them that they've failed, they're wrong for doing it. That kind of stuff. Like that's very wounded masculine energy. And so when we're able to heal the relationship with our father wound and that abandonment, it's all connected like the sna wounding and the father wound, it's, it's connected. When we're able to heal that, we're able to then go into a circumstance with a masculine, with much more compassion and being able to stay in our feminine energy, hopefully our divine feminine, where we can understand, you know, this is their process, this is what they need, and I can stay here in a nurturing space knowing that if they don't even come back, I'm still safe.
Speaker 1 00:11:39 I'm still provided for by the universe. I'm still sacred in my own right, and I don't, like, I don't, I don't have an attachment to this. So we're able to still stay in this beautiful, nurturing, loving space versus, you know, going into this wounded masculine energy. So I've got a free workshop happening tomorrow to begin to heal the wounded masculine. And then following that, we're gonna be doing the masterclass for healing the father wound. So you'll have an opportunity to register for both. Um, I'll share the link here in the description, and you can register for both of those through the same link if you come across this recording. After that initial workshop has been provided, you can still access it as a member of the Alchemy Alliance, along with the replay of the Father Wound Masterclass. Thank you so much for tuning in. I hope that you all have a wonderful day, and I will check in with you next week. Namaste.
